NAS is coming

Well, today was my first day at my new teaching gig in Harlem. I wouldn't say that I felt nervous, though I'm just not as at ease in the presence of younger people as I am with college students. I know that this teaching is going to require different things from me and I'm not sure what those things are yet. I had a lot of activities plannned and I had no idea whether or not they were going to work.

We stared around 4:30. I asked how they were doing. They said nothing. I asked again and got inaudible mumbles. Ok, i thought, this is going to be tough.

I can explain everything that seemed to have gone wrong. I can explain how hot the room was and how distracting it was that folk kept walking in and out, opening the door to peep in, and interrupting us for no reason whatsoever. I can talk about the nameless girl in the corner who frowned the whole time and refused to participate from the very beginning. I can talk about this same girl telling the director how disinterested she was and the director pulling me aside during break to tell me that my approach was too intellectual and too much like school. I can also talk about the inappropriate joke that she cracked shortly after that, that wasn't tasteful or funny, but instead, tacky and hurtful.

But I won't.

Instead I will talk about the fact that we were able to talk about mutual masturbation as an alternative to having unprotected sex. I will also talk about my co-workers J___ and P____ who were supportive to me and wonderful through the whole session. I will also talk about the young man from Sierra Leone who talked about how much the AIDS epidemic was affecting Africans and in turn, how much that affects him. I will talk about how cool it was to play Bessie Smith for them, whether they thought it was cool or not. I will talk about the girl who raised her hand exuberantly every time I asked a question and during the free write, asked if she could write more than one poem. I'll talk about the kid who wrote during his free write:

"I feel trapped in this room like a caterpillar in a cocoon.
Should I have stayed in my mother's womb.
I'm lonely, friendless, by myself.
I'm poop, have no wealth."

And the other kid who wrote:

"Black people are as
dark as the night's
sky. Black people are
shadows of their
host. Shadows are
like a friend who
will never leave
your side. Shadows
are people can
go anywhere
they want. Shadows
only enemy is a
bright light, that
takes control during
the day. When night
appears shadow
scares the light
away and vice-versa.
But one day shadows (black people)
and light (white people)
will be in peace together
and working together."


I'm really compelled by some of the things they've written today. So, it wasn't a perfect day. Hell, not everywhere can be like the J-school, where I teach on Thursdays, where the students are so perfect I can't help but wonder if they're fucking with me. I needed a little unspoiling and I needed to finally roll my sleeves up. So, here it is. I've asked for it. I just need to try a different approach and incorporate more profanity and visual stuff and encourage more class participation. And then, there's always music. Thanks Bessie, but next week, NAS will be taking over... NAS is coming...